Nathan Hubbard/journal 2001

The last time i saw Kaz was at Kimo's in the city. RTO was playing and he came out to hear us. We talked about life and Dons new CD and Kate. A general run down of what had been happening.

i went with Danny to see Phantomas in SD. We had some time to kill before the show so we went and bought cigarettes. i wanted camels (thanks lee) but Danny talked me into lucky strikes, because he got used to them smoking with Kaz.

i remember when i first got to know Kate she told me she didn't think Kaz ever slept - he was always wanting to go watch the sunrise, or go walk on the beach, or go sit in the rain.

Nathan Hubbard Skeleton Key Orchestra

Tuesday October 9th 2001 Saville Theatre San Diego City College KSDS 88.3FM Jazz Live

Wednesday October 10th 2001 San Diego State University Smith Recital Hall

program - raincastle (intermission) a murder of crows

Nathan Hubbard - vibraphone, drumkit, toy piano, percussion, live electronics
Brian Eisenberg - vibraphone, drumkit
Ty Constant - marimba, percussion
Sam Rabourn - marimba, glockenspiel, percussion
Josh Jones - acoustic bass
Scott Walton - acoustic bass
Theresa Archer - cello
Joey Carano - electric guitar
Hans Fjellestad - keyboard
Marcelo Radulovich - turntable, scanner, phonographies, electronics
John Paul Reed - trumpet, flugelhorn
Jason Maxwell - trumpet
Carl Prescott - trumpet
Michael Dessen - trombone
Eddie Kisfaludy - trombone
Alex Panos - bass trombone
Lee Elderton - soprano and alto saxophone, flute
Jason Robinson - alto and tenor saxophone, clarinet
Ward Baxter - tenor saxophone, bass clarinet, electronics
Jay Easton - tenor and bass saxophone, flute, recorder
Alan Lechusza - baritone and soprano saxophone, contrabass clarinet, clarinet, oboe, flute
Christopher Adler - conductor

the girl at the table next to me reminds me of you
her small voice and shrinking defiance to her dates dominance
he looks like he works in an auto part store
but i can tell by his attitude that he is a musician
even in my loathing of him he reminds me of myself
the girl is gorgeous
tight shirt under a button up sweater
i can't tell why she's so done up
maybe she doesn't get taken out much
maybe she really wants some tonight
maybe it makes her feel strong
he asks if she wants to go for drinks
it occurs to me that by her manners
and how she's talking to him
maybe all she wants is to know she is cared for
loved, even
if that exists in this world
they leave before my dinner arrives
i realized tonight as i was completely lost in LA
that its all bullshit
everything
the implications of the thought reverberated
in my mind for several minutes
its completely gone now

i'm sitting in a booming Thai restaurant
i asked to sit on the patio to get away from the techno
but no luck
it mingles with Thai conversation from the party next to me and the traffic from the road
i am 25 today
they're out of cheesecake
so i order the fried bananas for dessert
i am alone
i forgot my cigarettes in my car and my innocence at home
maybe its time to move on

11:39 pm made it back to the hotel
finally got my room after a bullshit $65 deposit
and to much waiting
i thought of calling you and leaving a message
but i can't get the phone to work

my grandmother called me at 6:30 this morning
to sing me happy birthday
i didn't pick up the phone
i was supposed to have dinner tonight w/ RJ
and lunch tomorrow w/ Korrie
both cancelled
i don't really mind
i always get more done alone

8:10 am up and half awake
may 26 2001 with harry
i can't think of a better way to spend the day
fell asleep fully clothed
didn't even bother to get in the bed

halfway thru my day
sitting at a mixing board
to many people to meet
and nothing for breakfast but water and cigarettes